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June 16, References. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. There are 23 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 7, times. Learn more Kids sometimes have trouble paying attention to their parents, teachers, and other adults. However, that can be really frustrating when you need them to listen to you.
Learn why people trust wikiHow. Explore this Article methods. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Method 1 of Use the child's name when you're talking to them. Just like you want children to give you their full attention, kids want to know that they have yours, too. Talk to your child the way you want them to talk to you. Use a playful tone and repetition when you talk to a small child.
Try sticking to simple, direct messages that you can easily repeat, and make your tone pleasant and playful whenever possible. It wishes it had a little foot to play with! Can you put your foot right here to make the shoe feel better?
Try to use positive language whenever possible. Practice active listening to encourage a child to talk more. Just as showing kindness will encourage your child to be more kind, the best way to help your child learn to be a good listener is for you to model that behavior.
Then what happened? I remember you said you were feeling nervous about that. I bet you felt really proud of yourself when you got finished! Stick to simple, one-step instructions, especially for younger children. Even for older kids, it can be overwhelming to get too much information all at once.
Break your directions down into one step at a time, and try to use short sentences. Give children choices when it's practical. Not only will this teach them autonomy, but it makes them feel like you trust them and value their input.
Over time, this will build the kind of relationship where they want to listen to you, because they feel like you listen to them.
Make time each day to talk to your child. As kids get older, it can be easy to just get busy and let communication slide.
Method 2 of Having open communication involves two-way respect. Keep uncomfortable conversations short but don't avoid them. Think about what you really need to say and try to get your main point to about sentences. Then, give your child a chance to share their thoughts with you, and use their feedback to guide the conversation. Small children need to learn about safety issues like staying out of the road and stranger danger, while older children might face issues like bullying and internet safety.
To talk about bullying, for instance, you might say, "I know sometimes other kids can be really mean. Is there anyone at your school who tries to make other kids feel bad about themselves?
Share your own experiences with your children. Tell them stories about how you acted when you were their age, along with fears you had or struggles you went through, as well as how you got past them. Don't worry about portraying yourself as perfect. In fact, that can make kids feel like they can't live up to your example. Be honest about mistakes you made and what you learned from those mistakes.
For instance, if you had a situation where you were pressured to do something you really didn't want to do, but you went along with it anyway and then got in trouble for it, you can share that story to let your children know that they should trust their best judgment. Use roleplay to encourage your child to make good choices on their own. However, if you use roleplay to mimic realistic situations they might encounter, they'll be better equipped to make good choices when you aren't around.
Would you like to practice some ways you can stand up to them next time? Be honest if you don't know the answer to a question. Sometimes, your child will ask you a question that you simply don't know the answer to. However, resist the urge to just make something up. If your child finds out you misled them, they might not come to you at all the next time they have a question.
Method 3 of It can be hard to find the right approach when your child becomes defiant. Stand your ground when your child is disrespectful or disobedient, but do so with an assertive attitude, rather than being overly passive or aggressive.
Avoid nagging and repeating yourself endlessly when possible. Give your child brief, clear instructions, telling them exactly what you expect. Then, allow them to deal with the consequences if they don't get that done. If they don't have their homework, for instance, they'll be in trouble with their teacher. If you feel like one more reminder would help them succeed, go ahead. Just don't make yourself frazzled by repeating the same thing over and over.
Discourage problem behaviors rather than criticizing the child. Acknowledge their feelings, even during tantrums. Kids can get worked up over the smallest things, and it can be tempting to just rush them past it by saying something like "Stop being ridiculous.
Let your child help you come up with the solution to a problem. That can lead to increased conflicts as they look for ways to assert their independence. When you see a situation like that arise, try to get your child involved in the solution. How do you think we should clean this up? Use "I" instead of "you" statements. Speak more quietly if the child starts to shout. However, if you yell too much, kids will just tune you out. Even worse, it creates an escalating situation where they start shouting over you, so you get louder, and so on.
Instead, try dropping your voice to a quiet volume as soon as the child starts yelling. Wait until the emotions calm down to try to address the situation. Instead, give everyone a chance to settle down, then calmly and lovingly restate the importance of your point before moving on to something else.
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. While it's always a good idea to practice deliberate communication, if you see your child doing something dangerous or harmful, address that behavior right away.
Talk about it later, once you're removed from the situation. Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0. Recipe Ratings and Stories x. Related wikiHows. More References About This Article. Co-authors: Updated: June 16,